You who are struggling with infertility, you are dear to me. You hold a special place in my heart. All of us who have walked in your shoes are bonded by an invisible thread of knowing. Knowing an ache for a child who does not exist, except in our dreams.

Perhaps there is no way to understand what baby hunger is unless you have experienced it yourself.

Here is what I wish my younger self would have known about infertility.

(And I share it in the hope it might help someone else who is there right now).

God did not put this desire for a child in your heart for no reason. It is not a random or worthless emotion. It is real and you were created to want a child. Such a beautiful and natural desire to want to procreate. We were designed to be fruitful and multiply.

Please believe this:

Some way, somehow He will honor your desire.

Psalm 37:4 says “Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart”.

 

It is a promise. Your pain is real, your tears and sadness each month when your body does not cooperate, the emptiness you feel. During this period in my life, everytime I would hear about a child being abused or neglected, I would shake my fist and scream out loud “Why, Lord, why? I can care for this baby, give the baby to me! Why do you give this child to someone who cannot care for it?”

(Well, I still do that, but still)

God will take all those broken pieces and make something beautiful out of it.

Open your heart to whatever possibilities there might be. Trust Him to know what is best for you. Even in your anger and grief, keep trusting in Him. Focus on what you can do, not what you can’t. Maybe you can’t concieve , but what can you do for a child? Befriend, mentor, sponsor, pour yourself into loving a child who needs you now.

At one time infertility was my greatest enemy. I despised it and railed against the injustice of not being able to give birth. Now, many years later, I see infertility as a gift.

Shocking, right?

Here is why: It made my heart even more tender and grateful for life. I appreciate the awesomeness of life more than I would have without going through infertility.

And the best, most important reason infertility is a gift – without it, we would not have our amazing and incredible youngest son who I cannot image our lives with out. He is absolutely the son we were meant to have. And he could not have come to us any other way except through adoption.

God often writes straight with a crooked line. You can trust in Him to do so.