Lists, Goals, Projects: Oh, how I love these things. Notebooks, Planners, Calendars: I’m all in. You, too? In ninth grade, I mapped out my entire high school curriculum just for fun. In college, I carefully plotted my classes so I could take extra hours each semester in subjects I loved. I knew what my senior […]
Not long after we had adopted our younger son, I heard about a couple who had adopted 12 children. Each one of these precious kids was considered “unadoptable” because of various physical and mental challenges. All of them required continuous care and since the family was quite wealthy, they had the means to provide for […]
As they say in Texas, sometimes you need to take the bull by the horns. My dad lived there and he was known to do just that. When his only daughter wrote and illustrated a children’s book, my father sent a copy to the features columnist at the local paper, letting him know this was […]
(Imaginary conversation about parenting between the Current Me and my Younger Self) Current Me: Hey, are you ok? Younger Self: Um, yes I think so. I’m about to have my first baby and of course, am very excited and well, I just really want to do all the right things so I can have an […]
A lovely woman, a mother of three once told me,”We would love to adopt, but I worry it would be really hard on our kids”. (This is one of those cliches people say about adoption. Yes, really). How sad I was to hear her say this. Oh, please make your kid’s life hard in some […]
Several years ago, the genealogy bug bit and I joined Ancestry.com (or as my family lovingly calls it, Facebook for Dead People). It became a fun new hobby obsession. After combing through the family history I knew, I did research on the ancestors of my youngest son. He is adopted and knew nothing but the barest […]
What does it mean to me that my son and I do not look alike, that we have ancestors from different continents? What does it mean that my son is a different race than I am? There are actually two answers to that question: It means everything and it means nothing at all. It means […]
I believe in a very succinct philosophy of adoption. It is simply this: Everybody deserves to be somebody’s child. That’s it. Everyone should be someone’s son or daughter. A decades old running argument exists about who should adopt whom. Do you have to be married or can you be single? If so, single male or […]
Adoption is part of our spiritual heritage as Christians. We are steeped in adoption culture, whether we are fully conscious of it or not. Our faith teaches Jesus is the only begotten Son of God, and since we are also His children, this makes all of us His adopted sons and daughters. We know we are […]
You know that classic Mean Kid Trick where the older sibling tells the younger one, usually in a fit of frustration, “Yeah, well, you know WHAT? There is something you don’t know, but I do! You are ADOPTED!” And the little kid runs off, sobbing to his mom, to find out if this new revelation […]
Angels are confusing. We love them, create beautiful images of them, and are comforted by knowing they are all around us. Who wouldn’t want a Guardian Angel to depend on? But who are Angels and what do they do besides fly around and look, well, angelic?There is a body of information in scripture. Here […]
This is a painting from a children’s book I wrote and illustrated called Joseph’s Heart: A Story of Adoption. It is titled Away in the Manger and is the most whimsical image from the book. Baby Jesus takes center stage as He lies in swaddling clothing, surrounded by a bird’s eye view of various creatures. They look […]
The first time Mary is mentioned in the Bible, an Angel appears. The angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. And the virgin’s name was Mary.” (Luke 1:26-27) Luke states that Joseph was […]
Su-per-he-ro (soo’per hlr’o) n., pl. roes. A heroic character with a selfless, pro-social mission; with superpowers- extraordinary abilities, advanced technology, or highly developed physical, mental, or mystical skills Was Joseph a Biblical Super Hero? A look at Joseph’s Story through 21st century eyes: Let’s do a quick recap, shall we? A nice Jewish […]
After Jesus was born, Joseph and Mary wait one month in Bethlehem before taking Jesus to the Temple in Jerusalem. In the Old Testament, the law requires after thirty days the new parents must travel to the Temple to consecrate their son to the Lord and make a sacrificial offering of two turtledoves. “Every […]
So it came to be Mary and Joseph were married. As they were settling in to their new home, an order was given. All people had to return to the town of their birth to be registered and counted. This meant Mary and Joseph must journey a long distance. Joseph worried it was dangerous to […]
Have you ever heard anyone call their spouse “my better half”? There is a religious reason for that term. In Judaism, the belief is a soul is created by God and then cut in half and sent to earth. Two halves that must find each other and come together to create a whole. Our mission […]
If Joseph was a guy who played by the rules, my next theory is he also knew a lot about his family tree. I believe Joseph studied the great patriarchs, prophets and kings of Israel as any dedicated Torah scholar should. Three of his ancestors are especially important in understanding Joseph. Abraham, his forefather, faithfully […]
What does the word just mean? It can be used as an adverb, as in “I’ll be there in just a minute” (meaning I’ll be there just before your clothes go out of style). Or Just Do It. (Great idea. But what is the “It” I should be doing?) The meaning of just is precisely or totally or completely. […]
We are a culture obsessed with awards, aren’t we? Participation trophies, annual certificates of appreciation, engraved plaques for most improved scout team player, whatever. We just can’t get enough of them. So I’ve decided to create an award. I mean, why not? All you have to do is declare the award exists and make an […]
What? You’ve never heard of it? The Michael Reagan Syndrome is when a person who happens to be adopted is constantly referred to as the adopted son or daughter of ________. (Don’t bother googling it, it’s a made up term.) Michael Reagan is the oldest son of President Ronald Reagan with his first wife, Jane […]
Search the internet and you will find countless articles about what NOT to say to people who have adopted. (901,000 Google results last I checked) There exists a whole litany of dumb remarks that are commonly said about adoption. Unfortuately, most adoptive parents never forget these comments and the people who say them. You remember […]
Here is the one remark that sends adoptive parents straight to the moon: “I could never love a child that was not my own”. And other variations of the same ignorant line: “Do you have any children of your own”? “Can’t you have your own kids”? “If you adopt a kid, then maybe you will have […]
Grace is God’s unmerited favor, a kindness we don’t deserve. There is nothing we have done, nor can ever do to earn this favor. It is a gift of the purest kind. Even though Grace is God’s domain, sometimes Grace comes from another person, or in our case, two people. Our son’s birthparents. We […]
We met our youngest son the way most extended family members do: Looking through a glass window in the hospital nursery. It was a surreal, out-of-body kind of experience and to make matters even worse, at that moment we did not know if he would actually become our son or not. At that moment, we […]
You who are struggling with infertility, you are dear to me. You hold a special place in my heart. All of us who have walked in your shoes are bonded by an invisible thread of knowing. Knowing an ache for a child who does not exist, except in our dreams. Perhaps there is no way […]
Our Story (How we got Thing One and Thing Two) We met in college, dated through undergrad and got married before graduate school. Coming from large families, we knew we wanted children. We loved kids and the idea of little ones running around. There was a big unknown, however. In my senior year of high […]
Many years ago I watched “A Life Apart: Hasidism in America”, a documentary about the history and culture of Ultra Orthodox Jews. Full of beautiful stories, there is a scene that has long stayed with me. In it, a young boy celebrates his third birthday with an Upsherin ceremony. He has his first ever haircut […]
Along with the excitement about The Idea, I soon realized there were countless details to work out to make this book a reality. Even though I was an artist with a BFA and MFA in Drawing and Painting, the truth was I had: No experience with illustration. Large Mixed Media Abstract Images? Why, yes. Realistic […]
It was the first Christmas after September 11th, when the hearts of all humanity were broken and tender. We knew the world had changed and would never really be the same, but many of us were trying to reach back to our old lives, to recreate something familiar, something comforting. Something to remind us of […]
Seeking A Heart Like Joseph’s My parents gave me the name Mary Clare in honor two of great saints and most likely with the belief this name would shape their daughter’s future character. They hoped I would grow up to be a woman of faith like Mary … and perhaps be a bit feisty like […]